Awesome vs Chuck's New Life
by mxpw
Summary: Just a short introspection piece about Awesome's feelings since discovering that Chuck was a spy. I'm very excited about seeing what they do with Devon in Season 3, and this is just a brief look at how he might feel now that he's a part of that life.


**Author's Note**: Just when I think I'm out, Chuck pulls me back in. Didn't really mean to write this piece, don't really think it's very good. It only took me about 45 minutes, obviously from the quality, but it's the first time I've ever wrote Devon, and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Something tells me that Awesome is a little OOC, but hey, it's a quick little piece. So sue me.

* * *

When Devon first found out that Chuck was a spy his initial thought process had followed a fairly linear, and understandable, progression.

First there was shock: Sarah wasn't just a beautiful girl that sold froyo at the local Orange Orange. John Casey wasn't just a stalker scarily obsessed with his soon-to-be brother-in-law (and not obsessed in a mostly harmless Morgan Grimes kind of way). Holy crap! Chuck was a spy!

Then there was fear: Was John Casey just about to kill him? Is Chuck okay? Is Chuck putting himself in danger? Was he in danger? More importantly, was Ellie in danger? He had totally misjudged Sarah Walker. Oh my God, he had been encouraging Chuck to fall in love with a spy! Holy crap! Chuck was a spy!

Next came anger: John Casey had tried to kill him! He had liked the big man, invited him into his home, shared his food, tried to make him a part of his family, and did that mean nothing? Chuck, Sarah, Casey, they had all been lying to him for years. Had been lying to Ellie. Were Sarah and Casey the reason why Chuck was a spy? What had they done to him, were doing to him? Was Sarah even her real name? Did she even really like Chuck? Holy…crap! Chuck was a spy!

Finally, there was acceptance: He knew that Chuck was better than some Buy More schlub. He knew that Chuck was full of so much potential, untapped greatness, that there had always been something off about Casey, and it finally made sense why Chuck and Sarah never, ever, seemed to have sex (seriously, what was the deal? He had never seen two people who wanted each other as much they clearly did and yet never seem to do anything about it.). He knew Sarah loved Chuck, was absolutely convinced that nobody was that good an actress. Everything made sense now (not really). Awesome! Chuck was a spy!

All of these thoughts shot through Devon's head in the span of only a few seconds, Chuck staring at him with a very apprehensive and skittish look in his eyes. Like at the slightest wrong word from him and Chuck would go bolting from the room or collapse into a heap of discombobulated limbs at his feet. Chuck had nothing to worry about. Chuck was his bro, his family.

He could so be awesome for Chuck.

And he was. Or tried to be. It wasn't hard. He got married. Went on his honeymoon. Had an awesome time with his girl and came home to a life that wasn't much different from before he knew the truth. Chuck still seemed to be Chuck (if maybe not a little more reserved and sad), Casey was still Casey (always annoyed and quick to anger), and the only one who seemed to be noticeably different was Sarah (there was distance there that hadn't really been there before). But he didn't dwell on that. It wasn't his place. He didn't want to know about that life. He remembered how much he had floundered like an idiotic monkey when Ellie had interrogated him only minutes after he had learned the truth. He never wanted a repeat of that again.

It had gotten to the point where he could go hours, sometimes even a day or two, without remembering that Chuck was a government agent or that the sweet, unassuming girl always plastered to his brother's side could kill him with her pinky or that Casey had a gun fetish that would have made Charlton Heston blush. It wasn't like he forgot; you just don't forget something like that. But he didn't think about it, tried not to think about it, didn't really want to think about it.

If he did, he'd go crazy. He'd give himself an ulcer worrying about Chuck. He'd worry about whether or not he was safe, he'd worry about how much he could trust the people assigned to keep Chuck safe, he'd worry about keeping his home and family safe, and he'd worry about keeping Ellie safe.

They rarely came to him. Didn't ask him for help or to get involved. Tried their best to keep him away and ignorant. If for no other reason, he loved Chuck for that. But sometimes that other life couldn't be hidden away, like that one bad uncle who was always mentioned in whispered conversations but never seen or heard.

Sometimes he had to lie, and he hated lying to Ellie (wasn't very good at it, clearly). Sometimes they asked him to cover for Chuck in some way. He was a smart guy, made it through med school without really having to try, but couldn't create a credible cover story to save his life. It was always half-stuttered "Oh Chuck and Sarah went to the beach" or "No, I haven't seen Chuck all day, have you checked the Buy More" (always forgetting that Chuck hadn't worked at the Buy More in months) or "What bruise? Oh that bruise. Yeah, Chuck got that while we were working out" (that always earned him a funny look from Ellie, like 'when the hell did my brother start working out?'). He never thought it would be so hard to be a spy, he doesn't know how Chuck does it.

The lies, as distasteful as they were, he could handle. It was the other stuff that made him hurt, made him want to hide Chuck away from that world, made him want to keep Chuck safe. The omnipresent injuries that he was sometimes called on in the middle of the night to fix. The way he would know, maybe not the details, but he would still _know_, why Chuck favored his right side or why Sarah seemed to be wearing extra makeup.

He had argued with Casey and Sarah more than once about Chuck's safety. Never in front of the man himself, because he didn't want to put him in the middle, but still they'd fight, with heated whispers and angry glares. Devon wasn't one to normally express anger or resentment, he usually let that roll over him like a tidal wave gently breaking against the beach, but he couldn't help it sometimes when he saw what the spy life did to his brother. He couldn't help hold it against the other two for dragging Chuck into this lifestyle.

It had gotten him in trouble more than once. Sarah always took his anger personally; she hid it well, buried it deep in that disturbing way she had of repressing her emotions, but he could still see flashes of the hurt she felt in her eyes. It wasn't his concern, he knew that, but that he would question _her_, question her intentions, her dedication, her love (and she could deny it all she wanted, but Devon knew just how much she cared for Chuck). That he would accuse her of not looking after Chuck well enough, of putting him in too much danger. One of these days, he suspected she would snap (he was really terrified of when that day would arrive). There was no one in the world that was more protective, dedicated, and obsessive about keeping Chuck safe than Sarah. He knew, every time he saw Sarah looking at Chuck, in those few unguarded moments she allowed herself, when she thought no one could see her, that Sarah would literally do anything to keep Chuck alive and safe. _Anything_.

But still, when he saw Chuck bleeding and broken, he couldn't help but get scared. He couldn't help but say stuff he didn't really mean. He couldn't help but wish that Sarah was just some girl, some undeserving girl, who had passed Chuck by on the street without a second glance, because she just didn't know any better, because she had no idea just how awesome Chuck really was. He never thought that for very long. He cared too much about Sarah to take the only thing away from her that seemed to keep her sane. He just wished that things were different.

Chuck was his brother. Maybe not by blood, but in every other way that mattered. He would keep his mouth shut for Chuck. He would lie and handle Ellie for Chuck. He would encourage Sarah to be more open and Casey to be more relaxed for Chuck. He would be awesome for Chuck.

Sarah was trying. Casey was, well, Casey. And as much as they fought and lied and bled together, they would be there for Chuck too, because they were family.

Devon just hoped it would be enough.


End file.
